Looks like Pigeon [male manager at work] is wearing women’s jeans with a cosby sweater today.

”

— Megan

It really puts ur bad day in perspective when u tell ur man how they r so unfair @ ur job, & he tells u someone got stabbed @ his job.

”

— AJ

Holla Gets a Girl's Number

I went to the bank drive thru to deposit a check. This smoking hot teller is helping me and when shes done she asks “Anything else Mr [Holla]?”. Out of no where, I say “Yeah your phone number would be nice.”

She responds with “Ok have a nice day” and I get my transaction receipt in the tube, and on the back is her name and phone number.

Not exactly sure why I said that, but it worked… I think I may have thought I was saying that to myself…

-Holla

“Holla” is the nickname of a friend of mine

I can’t even understand [him] because half of what he says is l33t and the other half is rapper…

”

— co-worker

…dirt, old green wooden bleachers, hot dogs, and PBR - that’s what a baseball game should smell like.

”

Man I love PEZ. I wanna try those big ones. I imagine eating one the size of a bar of soap would be good.

”

— Nick

Oh..this must not be a big game. You know it’s not a big game when they have a broad announcing the play-by-play.

”

— Rick

People have these lofty expectations for Obama because of how bad Bush did. If Bush had done such a great job, you wouldn’t be expecting so many things to change for the better.

”

To Digress

(Facebook Status) [Me] is listening to ignorant n*gga music that will surely thrust Georgia back into slavery. But hey, I can snap to it right?

Miguel: Seems like something Glenn Beck would LOVE! =)

Jaime: Miguel's listening to ... "BOOM BOOM.... Everybody say waaaayoo waaaayooo... BOOM BOOM BOOM... Everybody say waaayooo waaayooo...." lolz

Miguel: I think I'm glad I have no idea what you're talking about... I'm about to listen to some 2Pac as soon as my iTunes re-installs =)

Jaime: Bitches pursue me like a dream....Been known to disappear...before your eyes just like a dope fiend ...It seems - my main thang was to be major paid ...The game sharper than a motherfuckin razor blade ...Say money bring bitches, bitches bring lies ...One n*gga's gettin jealous, and motherfuckers died ...Depend on me like the first and fifteenth ..They might hold me for a second, but these punks won't get me

Miguel: All Eyez On Me!!!

Jaime: WEST SIDE!!!!!!!!

Me: lol..."wayoooo waaaaayooo"

Me: btw...we all need to get together sometime! I ate some Chipotle, and it left me wanting actual Mexican food. Man...the Mexicans in that Chipotle were some sellouts. I ice-grilled her when she, uncaringly, tossed a tiny pile of steak on my burrito...

Jaime: dude.... chipotle and taco bell may be some good Polish food but no substitute for authentic.... just let me know... there's this bad azz joint like a block from my house... best tacos and in Chicago

Miguel: I know you aren't talking about the place across from Kelly! I went there with the Trejo twins a while back and it was nasty! Instead of regular meat, I had to eat brains! BRAAAIIINS!

Jaime: ur the dumbass that ordered brains.... when the waitress asks you what you want... you could have responded Cheeseburger genius.....

Miguel: Cheeseburger in a mexican joint? That's like ordering pizza in a chinese restaurant... And anyway, she made me order in spanish. Hence the brains :-(

Me: What? You can't say 'taco' in Spanish? Lemme give you a hint...it starts with "T"...and ends with...wait for it..."ACO" mo'fucker!

Jaime: daaaaaaaaang [Me] jus OWNED YOU...... actually burgers in Mexican joints are way better than the shiet they give you at McDonalds... you're actually getting real beef.... ok so let me get this straight... they made you order in spanish and you somehow said.... Cesos??? Taco de Cesos??? you my friend are an interesting little man

Miguel: They don't serve picadillo! That's all I know so I had to order something else. I didn't know what I was getting... pendejos...

Jaime: jajajajajja props to the twins for tricking your unbilingual arse..... jajajajjajaja... I bet [Me] knows how to order tacos better than you....you should be ashamed of yourself... stick with me... I will show you the taco ways...

Miguel: Pizza > tacos

Jaime: ummmmmmmmm no..... it has been proven through research that more tacos are sold in the U.S. than pizzas... sorry broski...

Miguel: But if the average pizza is cut into 25-30 slices each, I bet the gap is closed (if not demolished altogether)... And I would now like to take this time to apologize to [Me] for us taking over his post like this. That's what happens when two Beaners stumble upon a funny comment :-p